Beyond Mad House
by syenosis
Summary: B found L. L thought he had B trapped but really, this was all part of B's sick, twisted game. As far as B is concerned L will die, whereas L believes he can B's heart isn't in it. M rated for language and strange ideas and yaoi
1. Chapter 1 B's POV: Imaginary

A/N

Hello children -smiles evilly-  
Its HAS been a while and I have no excuse apart from the fact I have been roleplay more than ficcing.  
I have the chapters for my other fic saved...but I am concerned over the greatness of them and I might possibly review and rewrite -looks all thoughtfull and stuff-

Anyhoo, this vunderful idea came to me whilst watching an episode of CSI New York. Cos I do that. Tis about the only TV program I watch, but you know, you people reading this don't need to know :) So...if you want to find out EXACTLY what that idea what...perhaps thou better readeth on. Or whatever them old people say =D

So if you read...review, whatever, I shall laav ya forever and ever and ever and ever etc.

Hugs and cookies :3 woot! ^.^ Oh, and I better add, this story is going to vary perspectives. However the first chapter belongs to my much loved B who I fantasize about a lot. I love him to bits. So yush, smile and read =)

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**1. **

**B's POV**

I dug my fingers into the jam jar and scooped out a generous amount of the red substance – before carefully licking it off. I knew I was attracting stares, but seriously, who gave a fuck?

The train flew through the complicated network of underground railways, and with one hand I ate the jam, and the other I typed into a laptop balanced precautiously on my knees. It was a wonder how I managed to keep the position – even to me.

It may have looked like I was working on something due to the look of concentration on my face, but the dire truth was I was playing a computer game called 'meeblings' on a website along the lines of cool maths games. Heh.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking… _Oooheeemggeee! He's eating jam with his hands and playing a maths game, what a freak. Or weirdo. Or whatever people these days would call someone like that._

Uhuh, I reckon that pretty much sums your thoughts up, don't try to deny it. Anyway…I deviate from the point.

So, I'm on a train heading into central Tokyo… going something along the lines of 300mph. Yeah that sounds about right. I'm playing a kiddies computer game and eating strawberry jam whilst attracting a million and one strange looks. Perhaps you're wondering what I'm doing here, or otherwise you don't give a damn because I'm boring you and you're about to flick off this page. Either way, I don't mind. I'm not going to tell you. I like that little thing called suspense; I enjoy it when people are like… _ooohheemmgeee!! I want to know! Tell me, tell me, and tell me!_ Yeah. Perhaps that's a little bit of an odd interpretation, and I'm also getting the feeling that I'm overusing the word 'yeah' too much. Heh doesn't matter. Once again, I'm straying from the point. I get easily distracted sometimes, when others I remain focussed so hard on the task at hand that I don't hear it when people talk to me.

The train finally pulled into the station and I pushed the lid of my laptop down – nice bit of equipment, the favourite that I possess – and got to my feet, the computer under my arm and jam jar in hand. My two lifelines.

I made my way off the train, my back still slightly stooped from that time when I pretended to be L. God, that man has _bad_ posture. Perhaps I should explain who I am, and maybe a little about my past.

My name is Beyond Birthday – but at Wammy's Institution, the orphanage I grew up in, I was known merely as B. The sad thing is that B stood for Backup – L's backup. I shouldn't really have to explain who L is, but perhaps some people reading this would not be familiar with the story of the world's greatest detective, so I feel that, to ensure complete understanding of my recount of recent happenings, I should at least aim to explain every detail.

As I have previously noted down, L is the world's greatest detective. He had amazing mental abilities, with an IQ well above average. I am not sure of the exact number, but I imagine it would be in the range of mine, probably a bit lower. Or that's what I like to think. Anyway, L solved over 3,500 difficult crimes and sent over 10,000 criminals to prison. He was able to mobilize every police or agency in the world. He also never showed his face. No one knows L's real name. This is part of my task. To see him in person, to know his name, then I will have something to hold above him.

I am Beyond Birthday. And I have the eyes of a shinigami.

*

I stepped out onto the platform, dressed in clothes I had randomly plucked from my wardrobe this morning. It is no longer my goal to be a copy of L – I am past that stage. That plan failed. Instead, I contrast him. I refuse to wear dark contacts, instead revealing the piercing red colour of my eyes to the public, and I wear a black shirt instead of L's customary white one. The jeans are the same, I quite fell in love with that style, and I am wearing red and black converse. I like that design of shoe.

According to someone in my past, you can tell a lot about someone by their footwear…if they're shoes are well looked after; they look after other things in their life. Looking at my converse now, they're a little bit worn but are in good condition. I haven't done anything to them. They were made to last I guess. Once again, I go off the point.

I made my way through the underground station tunnels before emerging into the sunlight. Later I'll be headed for the gym. It's a place where I don't have to focus on anything. But before I get there…I have something I need to do.

I walk for a little bit, but it doesn't take me long to reach my destination – a large four-star hotel – nice choice L.

I entered and the receptionist looked up. "Hello?" she asked, eyeing the jam jar in my hand, as though daring me to get even a speck of the stickiness on her leather sofas. It was a nice foyer.

"Hello, my name is Rue Ryuzaki. I'm here to see a friend. Hideki Ryuga?" I stepped forwards and smiled charmingly at her. Not caked up in makeup to look the spit of L, I do like to believe I am reasonably handsome. She seemed to fall for my charms.

"Oh…okay…" she seemed flustered and swiftly checked the database. "No-one under the name of Ryuga Hideki…you don't mean the –"

"No, not the celebrity." I beamed at her. "Try Ryuzaki then. He occasionally uses my name so not to be confused with the celebrity."

She seemed almost mesmerised, and nodded. "Off course." She tapped it into her computer. "Oh! Yes. Top floor, number 13." She beamed at me and I pushed a cheque towards her. "Thank you for your help ma'am," I commented politely and disappeared up the stairs whilst the amazed receptionist pocketed her generous tip.

I don't like lifts. They could get stuck and my whole plan could screw up. What I can't believe is that L would use _my _alias. It was mine. Rue Ryuzaki. L.L. I gritted my teeth in anger, but I managed to control it. The time would come. Suddenly, something else hit me. Room 13. Had he done it on purpose? I began to detest the detective even more as I raised one scarred hand and tapped gently on the door.

There was silence for a minute as I managed to locate the hidden camera and my crimson gaze bored into the lense.

"…Backup?" L's voice wasn't synthetic, as I was expecting and I growled.

"Incorrect." I commented – tilting my head to the side, so my hair flopped away from my face, uncovering the rough, burnt flesh that ripped down the middle of my features.

Once again, there was another silence. "…B." L unwillingly corrected himself.

"Almost there," I said, voice teasing. Mocking him. I paused. "No, you wouldn't know my name!"

"…B…please come in…" The door swung open. Obviously L had wasted no time in placing temporary technological equipment in every spare inch of the place. My thoughts were distasteful of course; I detest every living cell of L's body.

I lower my shining red eyes to the wooden floorboards as I stepped over the threshold. I wanted to make seeing his name in the air above his head as dramatic as possible. I paused in the entrance hall to the luxurious apartment, not entirely sure about what to do next. I was in _his_ domain now. Eurgh.

"…B." This time the voice wasn't synthetic; it came from a few metres in front of me. He was there. I raised my gaze and almost fell over. Quite literally, I staggered back.

"…Hunh?" My sound of annoyance clearly displayed my current emotions. He was there alright, hands in pockets, back hunched, one foot lifting and rubbing against his right ankle. But he was wearing a mask – a Darth Vader one. Face palm? Now seemed like the appropriate moment, so I smacked myself in the face. Goddamn L.

"Hello." The man's voice was monotonic and I resisted the urge to punch him in the stomach. That was the voice I hated with a passion.

"…" I didn't respond to his greeting, and I have a feeling he detected the flash of anger in my eyes. My abnormal eyes.

"I'm sorry, you don't like my precautions?" I could detect a hint of puzzlement – buried under the dull tone of his voice.

"I know what you look like _L._ I had someone do a drawing of you. You didn't even _know_ you had a spy in your midst." I spat the lies out, gritting my teeth.

"…Who?" L was curious.

"You don't need to know. They're dead." My eyes narrowed and what remaining colour was left in L's face – drained away. "And I don't like the Darth Vader." I added.

L got the hint, and reached up, gripping the top of his mask between index finger and thumb before yanking it off completely, throwing it to the ground in a way that was rather over dramatic.

I smiled.

L shrank away.

I giggled.

L backed against the wall.

"L Lawliet!" I exclaimed loudly, my hands snapping together, the loud crack ricocheting around the hallway.

"…Agh!" L's minute wail conveyed his confusion and evident horror of me knowing his real name.

I ran my tongue around my lips; they were a little dry with nerves at this point in time.

"Lawliet…Lawli…Lawlipop…Kyhehe…" I voiced my thoughts out loud, tilting my head to the side, mouth slightly open. The raven was evidently scared.

"What-are-you-talking about!" L's words came in breaks, whilst he recovered from his shock. Well imagine that. I'd freaked him out already.

"It's your _name_ Lawli. I thought the world's best detective would know that…" I cackled.

"…Okay." L's eyes closed briefly. He knew I had one over him. A feeling of complete and utter elation shot through my body, like heroin.

"What is it you want?" L finally asked.

"I've got what I came for. I have your name." I replied coolly. "And the other thing…" my hand slipped into my pocket, finger wrapping round the cool surface of something plastic.

"Yes?" The detectives face was tense. He didn't have a clue. Hehe.

It all happened very quickly then, I lunged forwards – L's face contorted in horror – I yanked the syringe from my pocket and plunged it into L's arm – someone grabbed me from behind and before I managed to push the plunger down, L reversed the attack, pulling it from his arm and stabbing it into mine. Eyes lolling back into my head, I wasn't exactly sure as to what had happened, but as I crumpled to the floor, I saw a young man above me, brown hair flopping into his almond eyes.

"…R-Raito Yagami…" I managed to stutter, before the condemning darkness completely overwhelmed me.

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A/N - Where it dramatic -cute eyes- probably not, but you know, a girl can dream :3 so yeah, I'm already working on the next chapter and will be updated soon and shizzle so please R&R..please? -gogo- fankays :P


	2. Chapter 2 L's POV: Thoughtless

Oh My Gackt, it's been a really long time and all I can do is apologise profusely. Seriously, was it like, March when I uploaded the first chapter of this, I feel so horrible xDD But basically, I checked my email for the first time in months and I saw this long list of messages telling me of reviews, faves and author&story adds of whatever and basically, I'd completely forgotten about . Okay, so my excuse is GCSEs, except they were over for the year in June and it's now the holidays, but what the hell, I'm ranting.

So I always read my reviews and they inspire me a lot to update my chapters, so I did! Thank you for all your super special awesome reviews and here is another chapter! As promised, from L's POV! Yay! :D

The first bit is possibly written in a slightly different style due to the fact that I wrote that bit several months ago then finished it today, but whatever xD Hopefully it all makes sense and there aren't as many typos this time, but I can't promise anything -.-

I meant to get someone to beta this but y'know, the people are would have chosen either live or are on holiday in the US, therefore, I can't. So you'll have to make do :D I'm sure it'll be fine, none of my fics have ever been beta'd before but, y'know...whatever xD I'm rambling and I'm a fail and hopefully there's a decent-ish chapter for you epic guys to enjoy!

The plot WILL thicken and the 'Mad House' bit will come in eventually xDD Quite possibly in the next chapter when I get round to writing it...but for now...you'll make do ! -points dramatically-

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**2.**

**L's POV**

I emptied the box of Panda's March onto the table, and they scattered everywhere, a few falling onto the floor. Finger in my mouth, I began the task of standing them all up along the tower of lollipop sticks and wafer biscuits I had built. This was most definitely one of my best constructions in a long while.

Raito-kun stared at me, face disbelieving. "How can you just sit there and do that?" he finally demanded.

"Hm?" I bit my lip as I glanced at him. "Well…I just sort of sit here…and do this…" I struggled with my words, before beaming at Raito in an almost baffled way.

He groaned, raising an eyebrow. "Maybe that should have been a rhetorical question," he murmured, shaking his head almost sadly. "Nothing you say _ever_ makes sense."

"It does to me." I smiled again, and then marched a panda along the back of my hand and straight into my mouth, yum.

"How unfortunate that we aren't all you…" Raito mumbled, before getting to his feet. "I better go check on the prisoner."

"I would prefer it if you didn't call him that Raito-kun." I shot him – what I hoped – was a threatening look. "He is our _guest_."

"You have a funny idea of guests Ryuzaki." He scowled darkly at me, then turned, but hesitated. "And you still haven't thanked me for saving your life..." he added slowly.

"You didn't save my life. He wouldn't have killed me," I flipped my hand casually at him and his hazel gaze was obviously displeased with my frivolous attitude.

"L…" I watched his jaw clench with wide eyes, my expression completely blank. "Dammit!" Raito cursed loudly before almost sprinting from the room. I chewed my thumbnail for a few seconds, then turned back to my pandas, watching them carefully as I made them march towards them doom.

Why was B here? And how had he escaped jail? His death had been reported from Roger to Watari and conveyed to me. He was supposed to be _dead._ I didn't understand any of this, and that annoyed me even more than the Kira case.

Spinning round in my chair, I got to my feet, grabbing a generous chunk of cake as I left the room. I walked slowly down the vast, empty corridor, shuffling my bare feet, back hunched over and head hung low, occasionally taking large bites from the cake in my hand. I was following Raito-kun, to the place where we were keeping B, the lockup room where we had contained Misa Amane for almost a month. Despite her seemingly obvious innocence I remained convinced that she was the second Kira and Raito Yagami was the first. As eager as I was to solve the case, I was beginning to believe that Raito was my friend and I was ever so slightly unwilling to find him guilty. But I had my job to do, and anyway, I suspected he had overheard B announce my name so I live in fear for my life. Death isn't something I look forward to, if anything, I am terrified of it. Death is the unknown, the only thing I have zero knowledge on. I know how to stop the human heart and end a life in numerous ways but what comes _after_ you're heart stops beating, after you're brain stops receiving information. What happens after your body grows cold and gradually decomposes, the reek of death filling your coffin, your confinement, your prison?

I was about to turn the corner to the door that held our 'guest' when I heard Yagami's voice that caused me to pause.

"Who the hell are you?"

I heard the threat in his normally gentle tone, causing me to frown slightly. There was utter silence from B, which seemed to agitate Raito.

"Answer me! Who are you?" the boy almost screamed at B who still did not speak. Instead, he lifted his head up, shining raven locks falling from his face, exposing his distorted, scarred face and his shining ruby eyes. A smile was on his lips and the only way to describe it…sick and twisted.

"Yagami…moon?" finally the dark haired boy spoke, tilting his head to the side in that strange way of his, the warped smile still on his lips. "No…that's not you're name…Light…Raito…that's it, I remember now!" his expression morphed again, somehow becoming more distorted than before, causing my friend to take a step backwards.

"Shinigami eyes!" he spat. "What a fool! To trade away half of your life for a means that could merely be discovered with the right sources!"

I frowned at this. Shinigami…eyes? This was so similar to the video received from the second Kira "_we can show each other our shinigami_". How unfortunate that what I was just witnessing was merely building up the case against the young man I believed to be my one and only friend.

"Of course, I always knew about your eyes, how else could you have known L's true name? Oh, and I thank you for that. That piece of knowledge is very useful to me."

"You're Kira, Light Yagami," B laughed, the sound ringing in my ears, so perverted and sick it struck me right in the heart. Was this that young child? That young, sweet child who had adored me until that…fateful day? It couldn't be…it was all so wrong; this could never have happened to him…it must all be a lie…a façade! But even I couldn't convince myself; I had to face the truth. The young child I thought I knew…he was gone and nothing remained of him. I felt tears build in my eyes but I fought to withhold them, just to let this conversation last out a little longer.

"As though I would confess to being Kira!" Raito's laugh echoed around the small room, and the strange thing was the tint, the small part of it that seemed to mirror B's own. "You're pathetic!" A loud thump and Light kicked the crouching boy savagely in the stomach, causing him to crash against the floor, head cracking sickeningly on the concrete. I could see the look on his face from here. I watched his eyes sweep the room, then focus on the open doorway, I saw his eyes fix on something, my face, peering round the edge, eyes wide. He smiled again, the expression causing me to flinch and he finally looked away, getting slowly to his feet. B was smaller than I had expected, around 5' 6'' and his build was light and slightly muscled, a complete contrast to the thin, bony form I remember from the hospital bed, his ribs jutting out of his pale, savagely burnt skin. It made me ill just to think of it. His hair remained long and completely uncontrollably yet well groomed and clean, the darkness of it emphasized his high cheekbones and pale, pointed face. His almond-shaped eyes creased up in his mocking grin, the red irises gleaming eerily.

"I'm pathetic?" His voice taunted Light, and he continued tilting his head in that strange, sick way. "At least I don't kill people for _justice_. I don't think I'm _god_!" B was sneering now, stepping closer to Raito, glaring into his face. "But you know what I _am_? I'm a traditional killer. I'm a shinigami. I didn't _trade_ my life for these eyes, I was born with them, and that is how I know you are Kira. Because I can't see your lifespan, because you possess a killing tool of the supernatural, a death note, a child's way of killing, for someone too scared to get their hands really dirty." His voice was getting louder and I could see Raito was shaking ever so slightly; perhaps it was time to stop this, before it went too far…

"I'd kill you, Light Yagami. I'd kill you if I knew for certain it would work. But I don't want to, because of the possibility I'd fail. Failure isn't good, is it Raito-_chan_?" I watched B's slender eyebrows rise up in that contemptuous way and I swallowed.

"B? Are you feeling better?" I asked loudly, rounding the corner fully, remembering my forgotten cake and finishing it quickly.

"Oh hello Lawli," B said sweetly, without glancing at me, continuing to glare at Raito, lowering his voice so it was almost incoherent, but my sharp hearing picked it up.

"If you even so much as _think_ to kill Lawliet, I will string you up, torture you until you're stripped of any dignity and pride you may have and until you sob, beg and plead and then I'll kill you in the most deranged way a sick mind like mine can think of. Do you want to know why, Raito dear?" I stared at B as he lifted his head up, placing his lips close to his ear as Light, tense and frozen didn't respond. In truth, my own heart was in my mouth. Why on earth would B try to save me? Unless…

"It's because, Raito-chan…kyehehe…L Lawliet is _mine_."

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Oooh...cliffhangers xDD Well, not really, heh, but still :P There will almost definitely be yaoi in here, but it depends whether you reader guys want it laid on thick or just minorly...trust me though, I have simply fabulous ideas for the heavy yaoi xD Also, looking at the genre I put this in, there has to be yaoi xD aaalso the horror will be here soon, hopefully it will be sickening and twisted enough for y'all to handle :]

Until next time, peace ;)


	3. Chapter 3: Lights Out In Your Mind

**Yay, another chapter =^.^= Sorry it took a little while, I went on holiday and now I'm back to school :O Its so traumatising :) **

** This chapter isn't from anyone's point of view and I think perhaps this gets a little darker towards the end than before, but that's good right? After all this is a BB fanfiction, what else are you going to expect :D This chapter includes flashbacks to L's first meeting B and begins to explain how L used to know Beyond as being 'sweet' or whatever xDD**

**If anyone can guess why this fic is called 'Beyond Mad House' before I mention why, you're rather epic XD Please, try and guess, it'll be interesting to hear your ideas ^.^**

**But for now, enjoy the next chapter! **

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**

3.

He belonged to…B?

A sudden, overly calm look came over L's face, hiding the true panic he felt deep within the confinements of his mind. B wanted to kill him. It…wasn't possible... It was all Beyond wanted…to kill him. For him to be dead, and he wouldn't let someone else do the honours…

"_L…we have a child."_

"_A child?"_

_The dark haired teenager glanced up from his marshmallow tower, panda-like eyes wide._

_Watari inclined his head. "He seems a little…disturbed though…"_

"_Really?" the thirteen year old looked surprised. "Why?"_

"_I don't really now…" Watari was looking uncomfortable now. "You heard about that train accident?" when L nodded, the old man continued. "He was in it…his mother was killed right in front of his eyes, her body was carved in two…he won't tell me anything else about his family. He won't even tell me where his father is."_

"_Oh," L blinked once then ate a marshmallow, then another one and then a third, smiling appreciatively. _

"_L…he's here."_

"_What?" L's dark head immediately swung round and he stared up at Watari through his raven black hair. "You brought him with you?" his tone was deadly cold. "I thought we agreed that we'd leave any children we found at an orphanage until I met them, so as to not get their hopes up if I don't find them acceptable."_

_Watari cast his eyes downward, almost shamefaced. "L…he was so unhappy…and no orphanages would take him…"_

"…_Really?" L's tone had immediately changed, he now sounded intrigued and his hands gripped tighter on his knees, clutching his legs to his body. "No orphanages would take him…?"_

"_Yes L, that's partly the reason why I thought he was suitable. That similarity to you." _

_L shot his mentor a sharp look. "Yes. I guessed that."_

_Watari shrugged, wrinkled face suddenly curving up into a sudden smile. "He looks like you too. He's nine years old and looks exactly like you did."_

_L got to his feet so suddenly it was as though he hadn't moved at all. "What? No. No. I'm not having him." the dark haired boy spoke so fast his words seemed to merge into one. "I'm not, it'll be too much."_

"_L…" Watari sighed. "He's not your brother. Your brother died. He's gone. You have to face that."_

"_Don't speak like that," L's tone was strangely fierce and his fists were clenched. "Just…don't!" Tears were building in his eyes, trailing down his pale cheeks. _

"_L…its okay…don't worry…" Watari took a step forwards, reaching out for the young boy and pulling him into an embrace. Behind the old man, a small child peered through the doorway. _

"_Watari? Why's that boy crying?" His voice was high and childlike, as though it belonged to someone three years younger than his actual age, yet there was a strange aloofness to it that mirrored L's own._

"_Hm?" Watari turned his head slightly. "…B…" he murmured. "That's B."_

_L pulled himself away from Watari, staring at the small child who was now stepping gingerly into the room, face curious yet shy. _

_Their eyes locked gazes, one bright red pair of orbs staring straight into the two dead, grey ones. L took a step forwards, as did B, and this continued until they were right in front of each other. B was small for his age and L was rather average, so the older boy crouched down so they were on the same level. _

"_Hello, B," He said, keeping his voice careful. The younger child tilted his head away, letting his long locks of unruly raven hair fall in front of his face. He didn't respond to L's greeting, but this didn't seem to bother the older child. "You have lovely eyes," he murmured, reaching out gently and sweeping B's hair off of his face. The little boy's head snapped up and his lips parted slightly._

"_Really?" he whispered, gazing adoringly into the expressionless face above him. "Do you really think so?" his crimson eyes seem to plead with L to repeat his compliment, so the genius boy did so. _

"_Yes, you really do," his head tilted to the side, a small smile on his lips. Why had Watari called this child disturbed? Granted, his eyes were a little on the…unusual side, but other than that he seemed like any other timid child. "What the square root of nine six three?" he suddenly fired at the tiny boy, who flinched away at the sudden raise in volume. _

"_I-its thirty-one point zero three!" he yelped, taking a hasty step back and tripping over his own feet, thumping to the ground, clutching something tightly to his chest. "To two d-decimal places…" he added, voice quieter and diffident once more. _

"_Well…that's right…" L turned to face Watari, nodding slightly. "You're very clever." _

_B chewed his lip, shuffling closer to the raven-haired boy. "Really?" he asked once more. "I am?" his tone was surprised at this comment. _

"_Yes, you are…won't you show me what you're holding..." L reached out one hand and B glanced down at his tiny fists. _

"_Don't break it…it's special…" he whispered and gently placed it into the palm in front of him. L stared down at it. A small, homemade straw doll lay in his hand. A traditional Japanese voodoo doll. _

"_Wara Ningyo." He stated and B suddenly laughed, the sound so happy and delighted it froze L to the spot._

"_Yes!" A beaming smile spread across his face, his almond shaped eyes creasing up into a look of pure bliss. "Yes, L!" he placed a tiny hand over L's larger one, grinning up into his face. "You're so wonderful!"_

_L Lawliet is _mine_. L Lawliet is _mine.

B was sprawled on a cream coloured sofa, head on one armrest, feet on the other. "You're so depressed, Lawlipop, why now?"

L didn't respond, crouching in his computer chair, his back to the other boy. He was slowly demolishing his early tower of lollipop sticks and wafer biscuits. Casting the sticks onto the floor and eating the biscuits.

"_Lawlipop_!" B tilted his head sideways to watch L's back, red gaze slightly narrowed. "Are you ignoring me? Is that wise?"

Still refusing to respond, L swept a hand across the desk, casting everything on it onto the floor then pulling his keyboard close to him and beginning to type in his erratic, unusual way.

"L!" B's voice had taken on a harsh tone and he swung his legs onto the floor, manoeuvring his body into a sitting position. "Why the fuck are you ignoring me?" Fury seemed to radiate from his body as he slowly stood up, making his way towards the detective and gripping the back of his chair, spinning it round. "What the fuck is your problem your stupid prick?"

L finally looked up at him. "I've never heard that insult before," he spoke softly, voice entirely emotionless. "What does it mean?"

Beyond stared at him, eyebrows arching up in disbelief. "It means you're a dickhead and a worthless arsehole," he spat venomously.

"Oh..." L stared up at him. "I know what they mean…"

"I'm done here," B snapped, shoving L's chair backwards in frustration. "Do you expect me to be able to live in the same building as you?" He was acutely aware of the close contact they had had moments before, turning away swiftly to hide the furious blush rising in his cheeks.

"Am I that impossible, B?" L stared at his back, wondering why the younger boy seemed so uncomfortable. "Do you not like me?"

"Of course I don't like you, you _idiot_!" Beyond yelled, spinning back round to glare at the man, fists clenched. "I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone!"

"_You're so wonderful!"_

"…_Unh?" L's eyes lifted up to look at the earnest young boy. "Am I?" he frowned slightly. "Really?" _

_The two could have switched places now; L was the unsure one. _

"_Of course you are." B gently took his voodoo doll from the raven-haired boy. "Can I stay with you forever?" his red eyes were wide and innocent, roaming the pale pointed face above him. _

"_Oh…unh…of course…sure…" L nodded slowly. "Sure."_

_Immediately, the little boy's face broke into a smile of pure delight. "Thank you! Thank you!" His arm flung out, wrapping tightly around the skinny torso in front of him. "Thank you so much!" _

_L uncertainly placed his arms round the child's shoulders, patting his back awkwardly. "Of course…no problem…" he muttered, before managing to slip out of his grip, taking a step backwards to glance at Watari. "I guess…I guess he's okay." _

_Watari looked uncertain, which was unusual. "Yes…I'm sure it would be fine." He murmured, stepping forwards, expression still unsure._

"_Watari? Whats wrong?" _

"_L…I think I need to talk to you later. About this boy…like I said…he's a bit…disturbed."_

"Watari warned me you were strange…" L sighed. "I didn't believe him…I'm ignorant that way."

B paused, staring at L, frowning slightly. "Shut up," he finally said, voice tight, expression tense. "Just…shut up. Shut up right now." His voice was rising in pitch and his eyes growing wider.

"I'm quiet, B." L said coldly. "You don't need to repeat yourself."

The younger man's chest was rising and falling frantically as he gulped in air. "You don't know anything about me, L. So don't pretend you do." He took a hesitant step forwards, staring deep into his eyes, his own red ones flickering in a strange way. "What do you plan to do with me? Do you think you can keep me here? Locked up in this house like your strange little pet?" he demanded. The lighting from the computer screens cast dark shadows across his face, emphasizing the gauntness of his cheekbones and the narrowed position of his eyes.

There was a long stretch of silence as L stared straight at his clone. "…B…" he murmured, forehead creasing in a rare display of confusion. "I…I have no idea what to do with you…why did you come here?"

"Hunh?" B blinked, takenaback. "I came to learn you're name, L." He stepped forwards, cupping the raven's jaw. Immediately, the detective stiffened, eyes widening in faint panic. "And I was going to bring you back to my little hideout where I could rape you and break you and tear you down, my little Lawlipop." Beyond chuckled softly, moving his hands up to stroke the other man's hair, weaving his fingers into the locks of midnight black. "Because no matter how hard I try, Lawli, the lust for me to do that is too great…sometimes it overcomes me and you should see what happens to the nearest person…" he smiled angelically. "So you can keep me here all you like, but the only way you'll ever stop me carrying my promise out is to kill me…could you bring yourself to do that, my little sugar?" his voice was growing quieter and he slowly moved his face nearer to L's before pressing his lips delicately to his pale cheek, one long-fingered hand tracing down the other man's jaw line and onto his chest, tugging at his white shirt.

L's hands flung upwards, gripping onto B's shirt, trying to force him away. "S-stop!" he yelled, twisting his face as far away from the killer as he possibly could. "Just…stop…" he whimpered, as a figure appeared into the doorway, staring frantically into the room, hazel eyes widening slightly as he took in the scene in front of him.

"B…" Raito Yagami's voice was dark. "What are you doing to him?"

B threw Light a disgusted look, before turning back to L. "Just so you know whose in charge here, my little sugarbaby…" he murmured, kissing L's cheeks again, his fingers lingering over the pale lips, before turning and walked off, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Raito watched him go, expression tight, before glancing back at L, who was still in the same, static position as before, dark eyes wide, mouth slightly parted, a look of horror and confusion on his face.

"L?" Light moved closer, eyes creasing up in concern as he crouched in front of the detective, gripping his shoulder and squeezing it. "L…are you okay?" his voice was urgent and finally, the raven's blank gaze swivelled round to stare at him. "B was right…I completely and utterly…belong to him…"

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**I totally fail at cliffhangers ¬¬ sorry XDD On the upside I'm reading Godchild right now and its so amazing :') I recommend it you people ^.^ **

**Anyway, I'll start working on the next chapter as soon as I can and hopefully it will be up soon enough ^.^ I might end up doing a specific upload day of the week like my friend, because it's always good to be working towards deadlines...but I'm not sure whether I should or not...**

**Also, the dramatic yaoi will start happening soon and hopefully it will be epic :3 thank you guys for all the lovely reviews 33 you keep me updating so I give ya'll cookies :D x **


	4. Chapter 4: L: Desparate

Its a chapter 4 ! :D Hope you enjoy it...this chapter is reasonably to the storyline, depends how much attention you pay :3

Hope you guys review, it makes my day ^.^

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**4.  
L's POV**

_I can't stop thinking about him. The boy's whose name I don't know. B. He's always in my mind, in my head, and every time I see him I have to move from the room. It's not love or anything like that, I'm sure this isn't what love feels like. This is more like...fear. I'm scared of him; I'm scared of that little child I used to know._

"L...You're brooding again..." Light's voice cut through my thoughts and my eyes swivelled round to look at him and then back at the desk I was perched in front off. Littering the top of it were plates of uneaten cake and cups of cold coffee completely saturated in the sugar that I had spooned absent-mindedly into it.

"I'm sorry, Light..." I mumbled, resting my chin on my knees, my arms wrapped tightly around my legs.

"L...shouldn't you be focusing on the Kira case, not that boy?" he finally questioned after a long pause.

"That _boy_ is older than you, treat him with some respect..." I murmured, picking a spoon up with my index finger and thumb, before mixing the nearest mug of cold coffee – which was, perhaps, a day or two old – then let the metal piece of cutlery chink against the china, letting the nice sound ring in my ears for a few seconds, before sighing. "The truth is, Raito, I have no idea where to go from this point. I suppose you could say I'm 'stuck in the mud'."

I could feel Light's incredulous gaze boring into the back of my skull as I turned away from him, and I couldn't help but feel a shudder rise up my spine. If I was right...this boy was Kira...if I was right, he could kill by just knowing a face and a name and if I was right...he knew both.

"So the great detective L is actually at loss?" I heard something in his voice as he spoke, something similar to amazement yet closer to triumph. It was hard to distinguish, so I avoided his comment.

"Where is B?" I mumbled causing Light to sigh softly.

"He should still be in the containment room," he mumbled in reply. I reached out and changed the computer monitors to display an image of the room B should be in. He wasn't there.

"Then why isn't he?" I demanded, spinning round in my seat and glaring at Light who looked rather takenaback at my sudden burst of energy.

"What do you mean?" Raito was at my side, staring into the monitor, manoeuvring the camera so we could see every part of the room, his forehead wrinkling in confusion. "I checked on him half an hour ago, where could he have possibly gone in that time? I definitely locked the doors behind me…L, goddammit; I kept him contained ever since he threatened you!"

I didn't respond, my heart in my mouth, I was staring at him but not really seeing anything. "I should've put him in jail…a person like him…a man whose intelligence overshadows mine…he'd find a way to get out of that stupid room…why didn't we tie him…why was he loose? He wasn't even handcuffed…Light!" I broke off my rambling to direct my gaze at him. "That man is exceptionally dangerous, if we don't have him under lock and key by midnight tonight, make sure a warning is issued to every police force near and around Tokyo…if he isn't contained within a week…the entirety of Japan will have to be notified."

Light stared at me, his mouth slightly open. "Do you think he's more dangerous than Kira?" he asked, voice soft, causing me to jerk slightly, head snapping up to stare at him.

"I don't know, Raito. This man…he's not sane. Then again neither is Kira…and both he and Kira are both cold-blooded killers, but B's level of intelligence definitely overpowers your own. He's a better killer than you are, Light Yagami."

"I'm not Kira…" Raito's denial fell on deaf ears as my fingers thundered over the keyboard, typing erratically as I attempted to notify Watari of the current situation as quickly as possible. I hadn't alerted my mentor of B's presence in my HQ, which was rather ignorant of me, I hadn't wanted to worry him, he was getting old, but now…now he had to know.

I turned my webcam on and Watari's face appeared on the screens, seemingly rather confused.

"L…what is the meaning of this? What do you mean, B has escaped?" Watari spoke first, and I hung my head slightly.

"The other day he arrived here, he was after me. But Raito here, he captured him and we had him contained…but now he's gone…" I was aware I was speaking like a child who'd misbehaved badly but that's what I really was, inside.

"L…" disappointment shone in the old man's eyes and it drove me down into the ground, reprimanding me forcefully. "Why didn't you tell me…did you not consider it important enough?"

"Watari…" I murmured, forehead creasing. "We have to find him."

Letting it go, the old man sighed, though I knew he'd bring it back up eventually. "Okay, L. We'll set some local police teams in motion and hopefully we'll have him captured, but I hope you aren't underestimating his intelligence again."

I stared into cyber-Watari's eyes. "Never again." I promised and the old man smiled softly. "Be careful L, don't let him get to you."

As my mentor's face vanished from the screen, I sunk down lower into my chair, burying my head in my knees and gripping my hair with my fingers, face so contorted in aguish and fear I felt I couldn't face the world, much less my friend Light.

"L?" His voice was concerned, but I didn't look up, I had to maintain my mask…if he ever knew the things that scared me; I can't even begin to imagine what he may do.

"L…" I felt his hand on my curved shoulder. "L…it'll be okay…" I heard him murmur, his voice more gentle than I'd ever heard it and I felt I could risk looking up at him, so I did and he seemed shocked to find my eyes brimming with tears.

"Sorry…" I murmured, before burying my head back in my arms and I felt him pull me close, his arms round my body, causing me to tense up. Was he…trying to comfort me? The feeling was so strange, as was crying. I hadn't cried since that time I'd first met B, I'd fought with withholding my emotions. Emotions got in the way of my job, I couldn't show them, and I couldn't give into them, if I did then I would be the world's greatest detective any more.

Raito was rubbing my back now and I tried to control my breathing. "L…is that B…is he your brother?"

I tensed almost immediately, pulling away and staring at him, wiping my tears away. "Is he my brother…? No. No, he's not. But I grew up with him. He was in the same orphanage as me. Watari's orphanage to be exact, but you don't need to know much about that."

"You're…an orphan?" I could tell he was surprised, and this confused me. Wasn't it obvious?

"Well…yes." I murmured, eyes wide. "They died when I was six years old. Two years before Watari found me. I'd lived in many orphanages in those two years."

"Oh." Raito blinked a little. "I didn't know…"

"Don't worry," I shrugged a little. "Does it really matter? We should be focusing on B, not me."

Half-heartedly, Light nodded making it obvious he was disappointed, yet I smiled in relief that he was letting this go.

"Thank you…" I murmured softly.

-  
_"Will you tell me what's wrong, Watari?" L questioned and the old man let out a heavy sigh. _

"_He hasn't been accepted into any other orphanages, L, because of his past. The first place he stayed in…they did a room check because of a strange smell, and under his bed, they found a box of animal corpses…" _

_Watari watched as L's eyes grew larger and rounded. "He's _nine_ and killing things?" the boy murmured, chewing his thumbnail thoughtfully._

"_Perhaps he just needs a little bit of love," Watari spoke gently, looking at L, meeting his dead gaze. "Love and attention."_

"_Mm…" L made a thoughtful sound. "Well, if you give him that, and train him, I'm sure he'll be okay."_

"_You like him don't you L," a smile had slid across the wrinkled face staring down at the small child._

"_Unh!" L's head snapped up. "Well…he reminds me of my brother." He finally admitted. "But I won't let him down like I did before. I'll be strong for him."_

_

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_Well, this was 4 pages on Word...its not here...it all looks so short D:

Oh...I know why...I have a new computer with a really big screen XD Now I understand ^^~

Woops :D R&R guys, you get cookies if you do :D x


	5. Chapter 5: B's POV: Lost

Hehe, it's true, I wrote two chapters quickly and well...this one only took a few days, so it's all good :) A bit of yaoi in this :3 Including a nice little flashback! Yay! Also, emotional turmoil. Woot. So, enjoy and such :D

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5.

B's POV

I kicked my legs in the air, wriggling a little to try and get a little comfier. I nuzzled into the bedclothes, pulling my shirt off, deciding I would sleep better with it off. I considered taking my jeans off too and just resting in my boxers, but that would look weird if someone walked in, so I didn't.

Tossing the white shirt to the floor, I pulled the thick duvet up to my chin, breathing in the scent of fabric softener, closing my eyes, a smile on my face. This was a luxury to me.

I was happily sinking into sleep when I heard the door open, and immediately slipping further down under the bedclothes, curling my small frame up, hoping that I wasn't that obvious.

I' d escaped from that cell-like place specifically to find a nice warm bed and of course, the owner of this wonderful luxury had to come and intrude.

I heard the quiet whimpering sounds and a thump that sounded like someone falling and hitting the floor; a sudden image flashing threw my mind. My shirt. Fuck.

As slowly as I could I positioned my head so I could see through a gap in the blankets onto the floor, and what I saw made my heart lurch.

He was curled in the corner of the room, head buried in his arms, body shaking slightly, his mass of shining midnight locks masking any insight into his face I might've had otherwise. I watched his thin frame shudder, hearing the sobs. He hadn't noticed the shirt; he was ignoring my mistake by making one of his own.

Ever so slowly, I sat up, pushing the warm cotton from my half naked body, shivering slightly in the sudden cold.

"L…?" I whispered, voice anxious. In automatic response to my voice, I saw his body tense, watched his head lift ever so slightly and met his large, panda-like gaze with my red one. A horrible sense of déjà vu overcame me, almost leaving me breathless as the memory ricocheted in my skull.

"D-damnit…L…" I whispered, moving slowly as I slipped off the bed, onto the floor, crawling quietly towards him, wrapping my pale arms around his skinny torso.

"Beh…B?" L hiccupped, nuzzling closer to me, staring up at me with those hypnotic eyes. "Y-you're…why…h-how?" he stammered out the words and I understood what he was trying to convey, but I pressed a finger to his lips, hushing him.

"Don't speak…not at the moment…" I murmured, and I think he understood, he realised that I was reminiscing; that I was longing for the past…dwelling in my memories.

5 Years Earlier

"_B!" I glanced up, seeing the older boy walking towards me, face somehow paler than usual. _

"_L…?" I frowned softly, watching him come closer until he was right in front of me. I stared into his face, seeing despair in his eyes. _

"_What's wrong…?" I asked, voice deadly cold, panic flooding through me despite my icy exterior. L never got emotional…something bad had happened. _

"_I…don't know how to say it…" Despite the expression on his face, L's voice was as flat as mine. "Just get straight to the point…yes…A's dead."_

_L's incoherent murmurs trailed off as he glanced back down into my face, the empty expression the wide red eyes, lips slightly parted. _

"_Beh…B?" L asked, voice concerned. "Are you okay?" _

_"How…?" I managed to gasp out. A was on his first case…was it possible that the person he was investigating, a serial killer, got to him? "How!" I screamed again, hands gripping onto L's shirt as my legs shook. _

"_B…calm down…!" L grabbed my arms, supporting me. "He…was found in your room…he'd overdosed…B!"_

_Everything in my head seemed to swirl, bright lights spots flashing in my eyes. A had…committed suicide… Breathlessly, I gripped L's waist tightly._

"_W-why?" I whimpered, burying my head into his chest. _

"_He…the case…was too strong…he couldn't take it…the bodies, the families…he couldn't just remain emotionless…I'm sorry, B. I guess this is my fault…" L's voice was shaking slightly, but his words flared inside me, building up the burning hatred for this man. _

"_It's your fault!" I snarled, shoving him away, gripping my hair, knotting my fingers into the black locks, face screwing up in grief. "You killed my only friend!" I screamed, my fist crashing into his face, feeling his nose burst, his hot blood stream over my hand, but this didn't stop me, the next punch crashed into his jaw, a sickening crunch reverberating round the hallway, mixed into a howl as L twisted away, falling against the wall, grabbing his face, expression frightened. "You evil little shit!" I screamed, sobs racking my frame, drawing my leg back and giving him a hefty kick in the ribs, hearing him scream and the bones crack before falling to the floor myself, sobbing hysterically, curling up, barely noticing Watari grab me and drag me off, the walls surrounding my heart were building up and closing in, shutting me off from the rest of civilisation. One of the only people I trusted had betrayed me and killed my best friend…nothing left remained in my life anymore. _

_Shut off from the rest of Wammy's House, I curled up in my bed, pulling my shirt off, overheating as the tears refused to stop, grabbing my blankets and burying my face in them, body shaking in grief. A had died here…I stroked the soft fleece, the good memories that this blanket conveyed flooding my brain…the first time I met him…the first time he held me close during the thunderstorm, wrapping me in this sheet, telling me it was all going to fine, there was nothing to be scared of…the first time he had kissed me, and I had kissed him back. Everything hit me like a fist to the stomach, leaving me gasping for air._

"_A…" I sobbed, not noticing the knock on the door. "…A…" _

"_B?" L's voice echoed in my ears, hurting like a knife to my temple. The door creaked open, and I turned my head slightly, red-rimmed eyes watching the slightly taller boy make his way slowly towards me. Dark bruises were blossoming over his nose and jaw, contrasting heavily with his pale skin. _

"_D-damnit, B…I'm so sorry…" It was the first time I'd heard the angelic boy curse, but I had barely any time to register this as he climbed next to me on the bed, hand gripping the soft blanket as well, resting his chin on my forehead. "B…" His voice was soft and gentle, dripping with unspoken regret. "I'm so sorry…" _

"_I don't care, L." I was pleased with my ability to keep my tone flat and even, wanting to move away from his body, but needing the comfort as well. "It doesn't change a-anything…" My voice finally broke on the last word, sobs overcoming me, leaving me unable to talk. _

"_I know, B…" I could feel the other boy trembling as well, and all of a sudden I was confused. Was L feeling sorry for himself? Or was he really in regret that A was dead? _

"_B…" He murmured my letter, his long fingers gripping my chin and tilting my head up to look at him. "You hurt me…B…" he whispered, face pained. "It wasn't really my fault…why did you hurt me?" _

"_Fuck you!" My voice exploded out of my mouth in a shriek, slapping him forcefully in the face. "You don't give a damn that he's dead!" I screamed. "All you care about is yourself! You _stupid_ boy!" I couldn't explain what I was feeling in words, so I shoved him hard off the bed, burying my face in the blanket, unable to push away the feeling that it was now tainted…because _he_ had touched it. _

_Hearing the door shut quietly, I curled up, exhaustion overwhelming me pleased that I was finally alone to dwell in my grief. _

"L…" I murmured. "Dammit…I hate you…" I smiled softly, massaging his back. "You're such a cruel person…" My lips pressed against his pale cheek, feeling the heat of his skin, reminding me that this man was also human.

"I hate you too…B…I hate you so much I want to see you dead…" L's words were so forceful that they made me freeze, but I relaxed easily.

"Yes…I suppose I can understand that," I laughed harshly. "I've killed a child, haven't I? And you don't like that, do you? You've always had a soft spot for kids, but you have no idea what to do around them…"

"Shut up," L mumbled, finally pulling away from me. "Never make me worry like that, not ever again."

He got slowly to his feet, eyes dry and serious again. "You don't know where we are, last time you were conscious, we were in California, now we're in Tokyo at my HQ, so I really suggest you don't go anywhere. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go and inform Watari that I know where you are. Come with me. And put your shirt on."

I watched his eyes trace my scarred torso, getting to my feet. "Oh, but you don't _really_ want me too…" I stepped towards him, smiling up at him, standing on my tiptoes to kiss his lips softly, hand cupping his jaw.

"Get off!" L vigorously pushed me away, and I staggered back, blinking in surprise at the ferociousness he had showed.

"I don't want to do anything like that with you," he murmured, turning away quickly, but I still spied the pink tinge to his cheeks and smiled.

"Okay, L. Maybe later," I said joyfully, picking my shirt up and pulling it on. "Lets go tell that old fool that I'm okay, and he shouldn't have a heart attack because I'm missing."

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Mmm...yeah thats it :D I'm starting the next chapter :3 I hope you don't mind that I updated it so quickly D: Maybe you'll like it? I dunno :L Now you see why the previous chapter was important. :3 I bet I caused people to wonder where he'd gone XDD It wasn't that dramatic after all, it was only to gain a stronger, more emotional relationship between the two!

Also, a bit of advertising! :D Check out my dA? I'm syenosis on there as well (Y) That would be awesome if you could :D

COOKIES FOR REVIEWERS 33


	6. Chapter 6: Shinigami

Yay! Another chapter! ^.^ Thank you too Kitori-xxx for all her wonderful reviews, they make me happy, as do any other reviews :D  
In case I haven't mentioned before, this story is canon to the Kira case from around the middle, after Misa&Light have been confined etc..however, obviously, this is a fanfiction so it ends up being not canon at all :/ I don't even know why I just wrote this :D

Okays, disclaimer time :D Deathnote (c) to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata, Beyond Birthday is (c) to Nisoison, if I'm not wrong? Whatever, I own zero of this fic, only the plot which has changed dramatically since I first started writing it, originally the concept was based on an episode of CSI but I decided not to do that, but to make it more personal between the two boys :D So enjoy ^.^

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**6.**

L trailed his fingers along the edge of the desk, murmuring softly into the microphone, leaving Watari a message to tell him that B was okay and currently with him. His slender hands stopped when the came to a cup of cold coffee and he picked it up, staring intently into the surface, before swinging his arm out and upturning it over the trash can.

B watched the brown liquid splash out of the edges, eyebrows raising slightly, hugging his knees to his chest, sighing in a way that was almost miserable. He dropped his feet to the floor then pulled one leg up, then the other, wriggling slightly, before finally speaking.

"L, I'm bored," he whined, pouting slightly. "What can I do?" he got laboriously to his feet, wandering over to the genius, placing his hands on his rounded shoulder, leaning over the top of his head, pressing his pointed face into the dishevelled array of shining locks, trailing his fingers over onto his chest. "Will you amuse me, Lawli?" he whispered, but the raven pulled away, turning his head, face blank.

"No. You're horny B. Get away from me."

"Hey!" The smaller boy pouted again, red eyes wide and puppy-like. "I am _not_, like I said…I'm just bored!"

"Then being bored obviously makes you horny," L commented, twitching further away, leaning over his desk and typing the pass code to his email, checking his inbox for updates. "If you're bored, help me with the Kira case."

"Not horny…" B continued to mumble, before moving next to the older boy. "What do you want me to do?" he sighed, resigning himself. "If you have some handcuffs, I'll go arrest that kid, Yagami."

"Be quiet," L mumbled, typing again, pulling up the display of figures from the latest group of heart attack deaths, staring at them and biting his thumbnail, the strange sound it made disturbingly loud in the sudden silence.

"…L…" B murmured, staring at the screens, reaching out a finger and poking the detective. "I think I know what we can do…there's two Kiras' right?"

L turned to look at him, head tilted to the side, before nodding. "Yes, that's correct. Amane Misa, I believe is the second one."

"Hmm…" B nodded slowly, turning to focus his mesmerising red gaze on the figure that appeared behind them, the hulking shape of the Shinigami Rem. "Wow…" he murmured, crimson eyes widened. "A real, proper, actual god of death…?" the words came tumbling out in amazement. "Why are _you_ here?"

Rem looked startled, looking at L, then at B. "Have you given him the notebook?" she asked in her low voice, but when L shook her head, she swooped lower to stare into B's face, causing him to flinch back slightly.

"H-hey!" he yelped, pulling himself backwards, scowling. "Don't get so close…" he muttered.

"He's horny-" L attempted to inject, but Rem cut in front of him.

"A shinigami boy?" she murmured. "Is it even possible?"

B's expression turned from bewilderment into pure delight. "My eyes!" he yelled, shooting to his feet, leaning into Rem's face, staring into her strange orbs. "They're like yours, aren't they?" His voice grew louder, more excited, hands clenching and unclenching in anticipation.

"What do you mean…shinigami boy?" L was staring at Rem, dark eyes suddenly wide, jaw slack, expression completely and utterly horrified. "N-no way! That's not possible!" his words came tumbling out, tone raising in pitch, scrambling to his feet, pulling B away from the death god.

Rem pulled away, with a strange expression. "You were talking about Misa," she spoke, changing the subject in her deep voice.

"Yes," L nodded, relieved that no more was being said about it. "Why?" he tilted his head to the side. "What's wrong?"

Rem's face was suddenly incredibly blank. "Nothing…" she murmured, turning away and disappearing through the wall. B stared after her, before looking at L. "What's wrong with you?" he demanded. "Why couldn't you just let me find out more about myself?" tears dripped down his pointed face, making dark stains on the carpet below him. "Do you know how long I've waited for this opportunity?" he whispered, unable to raise his voice in case it trembled.

"B…?" L's tone was questioning. "You…were telling the truth…about your eyes?"

"Of course I was, Lawliet!" B sobbed, wiping an arm harshly over his face. "Do you honestly believe that I could make something like that up?" his turned away to hide his shameful tears.

"B…I'm sorry…" L sighed softly. "Let's forget this…I just got worried…that she would put ideas into your head."

"I'm not a _child_, L!" B choked. "I know what's right and wrong."

"I'm sorry, you just haven't displayed much of that knowledge recently…" L murmured, groaning internally. "Can you please forget this? You had an idea…about the Kira case?"

A few minutes past whilst B attempted to gain better control of his emotions. "Y-yes," he finally whispered. "I've been reading your files," he murmured. "And I know about the 13-day-rule and how Yagami and Amane were kept in confinement for well over that period of time, thus proving their innocence." B risked a glance at the detective, to see how he would take the fact that he had read his data. The raven was emotionless, sensing B's tepidness.

"Yes, that's correct," he gave one more nod before settling back into his seat, leaning forwards in his chair, chewing his thumbnail, the other hand wrapped round his legs. "Continue."

B nodded. "Okay. I also know that these rules were written in the back of the notebook…but I can't help but wonder exactly _why_ they were there. Why not just put them at the front with the rest of the rules. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm supposing that Kira, this Yagami boy, faked these rules to throw you off his trail."

"Yes…I…thought perhaps that was the case as well," L agreed half-heartedly. "I just didn't know how to prove it."

"You're thinking too much," B spoke quietly. "It's very simple really. You get someone to write a name in the book and see if they die after 13 days."

There was a long pause within which L stared at his clone, mouth falling open, before he spoke, voice harsh. "You're suggesting I sacrifice one of my team?" he demanded. "What happens if this rule is _real_? They'll die, and I'll be held responsible. I can't allow that to happen."

"Oh, Lawlipop," B sighed, kneading his forehead with his knuckles. "Sometimes you're so _dim_…"

There was another pause in which an aura radiated from L, demanded B to explain his words.

"You get a criminal to write another criminals name in the notebook, you fool!" He laughed in a strange, delighted yet twisted way. "Kyhehe…see; it's not all that hard!"

"B…that's…brilliant!" L nodded, forehead creasing slightly. "Okay, we need to organise this…if I'm correct, Rem is Misa's shinigami. Did you hear about the video? 'And then we can show our shinigami'. Also, Rem has a notebook. It is obvious that these Death Note books are linked to the shinigami realm. I suppose that a shinigami is somehow 'attached' to a notebook. Guiding the human owners…"

B nodded eagerly. "Yes…what about this?"

"I…" L chewed his thumb thoughtfully. "I think Rem…cares for Misa," he finally concluded. "She seems to show signs of something close to compassion toward the girl."

B nodded slowly. "She seemed concerned earlier," he murmured, mimicking L and chewing his thumbnail. "Yes…I see what you mean. Is that a problem?" he finally asked, glancing up at L.

The detective hung his head. "I think…I'm going to have to sacrifice myself B," he said loudly, not expanding on this statement, instead bouncing to his feet and shoving his hands in his pockets, wandering over to the full length window, staring out of the rain splattered glass into the dark night sky.

B stared at his curved back, the man's words taking a little while to sink in, before he jumped to his feet as well, following the older male, standing next to him, one hand in his pocket, the other snaking round L's waist, holding him close, leaning his head against his shoulder, staring out at the Tokyo city.

"Then I'd have to join you," he murmured softly, words almost melodic in the sudden, pressing silence. "I wouldn't let you experience that on your own."

L stiffened, slowly turning to look at the younger boy, head tilted to the side. "…Really?" he whispered. "I thought you wanted to kill me…" he didn't move away from B's hold instead he found comfort in it.

"Well…. that would end your suffering," B grinned up at him. "And we wouldn't want that…would we? I mean; I haven't even been able to start." He laughed softly, pulling away from the older boy and wandering over to the table littered with cake and other sweet things. "Don't you want to see what I have in store for you?" he asked mildly. "Keeping me here was quite possibly the biggest mistake you could ever make!" he laughed again, cracking his neck to the left, then to the right before moving out of the room, pausing in the doorway to glance back at the frozen genius.

"I want you to know," he murmured, watching him carefully. "I love you. I love you so much that I want to make you officially mine…for eternity. Just you wait, my Lawlipop, it all starts soon. And you won't be able to break free when it does."

B's words seem to blur L's vision, the tears in his eyes masking the world from his sight. When they finally overflowed, pouring down his cheeks, the shinigami boy was gone.

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As promised next chapter = dramatic stuff. Yeah, I'm getting there :D Please, please, please review, I will love you forever and ever and ever...Dammit, I have no idea why reviews make me happy, but they do, so please do it *cute anime eyes*

THANK YOU! 3 :D


	7. Chapter 7: Rage

This chapter involves scenes of gay rape, I attempted to tone it down a bit, but if you think I should up the rating, please tell me, I wouldn't want this taken down 0_o

So yeah, chapter 7, written in B's POV, starts with a nice flashback to an 8-year-old B, so from before he met L. I almost cried whilst writing this chapter D: XD Enjoy ~

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**7**

**B's POV**

_There's darkness…all around me…I can't see anything. I can't move my hands…my feet…my body. I think I'm lying face-down, but I'm not sure, I don't remember what happened, I don't remember why I'm here._

_I attempt to shake my hands, but the rattling of chains echo in my ears and the dull realisation sets in. I'm cuffed; my ankles and wrists are cuffed to something solid. The metal is biting into my flesh and it hurts to flex my tendons. I bite my lip. Surely this is just some sort of nightmare? But you weren't supposed to feel pain in dreams, were you? So this couldn't be…_

_A crack of light appears somewhere out of sight, the rays leaking into the corners of my eyes, almost blinding m.. I attempt to turn my head, to look at this yellow-ish light, but I flinch away, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. It was painful to look, but in my fleeting glance I'd seen the hulking figure of my father in the doorway. The doorway looked familiar. Was it possible…was it possible I was in the cellar?_

"_D-dad?" I risk a whimper, but my voice comes out cracked and hoarse, barely coherent. He doesn't speak and my eyes open to narrow slits, watching him make his way towards me. I'm definitely lying down, strapped to something hard and uncomfortable, my chin resting on stained wood. "Daddy, what's going on?" My voice is clearer now, rising to a yelp as I realise I'm naked. "What are you doing?" _

_The tall man is now taking his own clothes off and I start struggling, yelling out when the tight handcuff's slit into my skin, beads of blood dripping down my wrists and legs. _

_My father is straddling me, his weight knocking the breath out of me momentarily. He's naked. Completely naked. _

_My vision fogs as he lowers himself down, hands either side of my small shoulders, crotch over mine. _

"_D-dad! Stop!" My childish voice has risen in pitch to an ear-splitting scream as the man thrusts downwards, his body cold and penetrating as he enters me, causing my tiny figure to buck and twist in pain, bright lights flashing in front of my eyes as I hear him grunt and groan in pleasure._

"_S-stop! STOP IT!" My screams are loud, nearly deafening me as my neck and back arch, my father thrusting aggressively, ripping at my tender flesh. "AAAAGGH!"_

_My father, whom I trusted and loved…my father was raping me. He was actually raping me, an eight-year-old boy. _

Cold sweat drenched my body and violent shudders rocked my frame, my slender hands knotting into the bedclothes, red eyes wide and frightened, mouth hanging open, saliva streaming down my chin. A pitiful sight, I was reduced to nothing by those memories, nothing but the terrified child I once was.

Almost immediately I felt the rage build up inside me, burning in my stomach and my lungs. I stepped out of bed, managing to release the sheets, knowing whom I was going to find. The cold night air hit my damp, bare torso like a bullet, almost knocking the breath out of me. Dressed only in boxers, I shivered more violently, opening my door and stepping out into the corridor, carefully pacing the dark, silent building, making my way towards the computer room where I was almost certain I would find my prey.

I pushed open the door, crimson eyes immediately resting on the back of the head I wanted. His raven hair stuck up around his face like a halo as he spun in his chair to look at me, head tilted to the side curiously. My hand immediately went to the doorframe, grabbing it for support as my legs almost gave way.

"B…are you okay? You look ill…" L's voice was quiet and he slowly got to his feet, making his way over to me. He was taller than me. Of course he was. He wasn't kept in a dark cellar for the majority of his childhood. "B?"

"Unh…" I let go of the doorframe, falling onto him, shoving him against the ground, straddling him, leaning forwards, crushing my lips against his, hands trailing down to yank at his jeans, wrenching them down his thighs.

"B!" L yelled, twisting away from me, before I grabbed his face, nails digging into his cheeks, blood beginning to trail down his pale skin. "B! Stop!" he gasped, his face a mirror of what mine must've been ten years ago.

"Shut up!" I spat, slapping him hard on the face, his head snapping hard to the side with the force of the blow. He remained in a daze as I pulled his boxers down as well, rolling him over, leaning over his horrified face and kissing his cheek gently, panting heavily before removing my own boxers. "Lawli…Lawli…Lawlipop…" I sang gently, gripping his shoulders, groaning in relief as I suddenly, smoothly and aggressively violated him, enjoying the scream that tore from his lips. "Your screams…" I moaned. "Your…screams…unh!" I thrust forwards, tears pouring down my cheeks, a manic smile on my face. "S-scream again!" I howled as L's shrieks rang in my ears.

"B!" He bellowed, tears soaking into the carpet beneath his face. "S-STOP! JUST STOP IT!" His protest had reached the ear-splitting level, re-enforcing my rage.

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, thrusting wildly, dragging my nails down his back, tearing into the shirt, ripping it from his body, before proceeding to do the same on his bare flesh, feeling the rough ridges of old scars before tearing them open once again. "SHUT UP LAWLIET!"

His yells were hysterical, tears and blood pooling around him, his body bucking and twisting in pain and anguish. "STOP IT B! JUST STOP IT!" He screamed his pleas. "Beh-B!" His voice cracked as he sobbed and I slowed, removing myself from him, dragging myself along to carpet to curl in a corner, panting, burying my head in soft fabric of his jeans, inhaling deeply and trying to control the shudders that ripped through my body. I could still hear L, his hysterical crying suddenly clear in my mind, reminding me of how I used to be, how useless and pathetic I was. How vulnerable. All that had changed. Now, I was the beast. And I preyed on the hopeless.

"Hehehehe…" The sound was small at first as it leaked from my lips, before increasing in velocity, mixed with L Lawliet's sobs and whimpers to create a sound that was disdainful and sardonic, sick and twisted. "Lowlife Lawliet! Kehehehehe! Kehehehe!"

The laughter was overwhelming, leaving me rolling on the ground, clutching my sides helplessly, barely noticing L's sounds trail away, not noticing him slowly manage to get to his feet and smash a laptop hard over my head, instantly causing me to laugh louder in pain, before the sound slowly quietened, blackness overwhelming my vision, my mind, my heart.

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Yup, that was it. It's sort. Cos writing this is hard XD Review and advise me about the rating? D: Thankies :)


	8. Chapter 8: B's POV: Insanity's Edge

Another chapter. Obviously. I really like writing these A/N things XDD  
Anyway, to the point. I shouldn't feel like crying when I'm writing, should I? XD

But yeah, I hope you like this chapter. I'm trying to be more poetic, and probably failing...epically ^_^

Ah wellz, enjoy~!

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8.

B's POV

I felt something tight digging hard into my wrists. My back was against solid concrete and I thought I was hanging from the ceiling. My bare toes barely touched the ground and the freezing air whispering around my naked torso suggested I was still in my boxer shorts.

With a quite groan, I kicked my ankles slightly, almost yelling out when hard metal bit into my flesh. I was cuffed on my wrists _and_ ankles! I turned my head from right to left in an urgent fashion, trying to see anything, anything beyond the blackness. But I couldn't. There was nothing, just a dark abyss; that was almost certainly going to consume me.

Without realising it, I was screaming, flinging my head around, shaking violently at the cuffs, ignoring the agonizing pain ripping into my limbs, bucking my body and twisting, back slamming hard into the concrete. I was tied up, like an animal for slaughter! I was going to be killed! Tortured and killed, just like before!

"B…" A soft voice whispered in my ear and a cold hand placed itself on my arm. "Stop it…" the gentle tone was scolding me, like a small child. Just like my father used to do. I felt my eyes bulge slightly in terror, body falling limp. My eyes were definitely there, and they were definitely open, but why couldn't I see? The man talking to me obviously could…was I blind? I didn't remember going blind!

"I-I can't see!" I gasped, voice coming out cracked and hoarse. "Let me see! I want to see!" My voice rose in pitch to a shriek, slamming my head backwards, cracking it hard on the wall.

"Stop it!" The man's voice scolded me again. "Hurting yourself isn't going to do any good is it?"

"N-no…" I felt obliged to respond, sobbing hysterically. "I can't see…" I whimpered again. "Have you taken my eyes, daddy? You n-never liked m-my eyes!" I was pleading, begging to be given my sight once more.

A long stretch of silence followed my comment, broken only by my muffled sobs. Terror was finding its way into the deepest parts of my broken mind, it's dark, smoky tendrils filling my head and clouding my thoughts.

"I haven't taken your eyes," I heard him finally speak. "They're still there…in your face…"

I cried harder in relief, body shuddering violently, the tendons in my wrists and ankles flexing automatically, causing the tight metal to slice even deeper in my flesh. I felt the hot blood seep down my arms, I heard it drip onto the concrete ground, mixing with the tears already pooling under my feet.

"You're a mess, B…" the voice sighed, brushing strands of hair from my face, which I imagine must have been twisted in terror.

"D-don't touch me!" I gasped. "N-not again! I-I don't w-want…it…" I broke off once more, flinging my head away from the cool, probing fingers.

"You don't want what?" the voice was genuinely curious now, though, I could almost detect the frown that would be wrinkling his forehead. His _bastard_ forehead!

"Stop mocking me!" I screamed, thrusting my head in the direction I imagined his body would be, bright stars suddenly blinding in the blackness as I connected with the solidness that must have been his skull. I heard a grunt and shuffling footsteps as he staggered backwards.

"You have a hard head," he murmured and I heard him sigh. "Why are you so…broken, B?"

"That's not my name," I snarled, the darkness causing me to retch. The claustrophobia was overpowering, the blackness seemed to etch itself into my mind. "I want to see…" I murmured again, as I felt his presence move closer.

"Answer my question…" he spoke gently. "And then you'll be able to see again."

I can suddenly hear my breath echoing in the room, harsh and panicked. I can feel the air leave my lungs and then I breathe in and I know that I'm still alive. I remember when I used to feel this way all the time. How I used to feel so dreadfully human, so vulnerable and helpless.

Every time I feel my heart thud in my chest I recognise my mortality and how weak I am in this world. This world is full of monsters that will steal your life and consume it without regret. I was foolish to believe that I was one of these monsters; I am not. I am human, and I will be preyed on, this is the harsh reality that has finally dawned on me. I used to know this, these used to be the morals that I lived by, even as young as eight years old, yet somehow I forgot them. I survived the impossible. I forgot the unforgettable. And because of this, because of this I lost my soul. Or maybe it was stolen from me that night. Maybe my father stole it, perhaps his dying screams ripped it from my body, and it was entwined with his before being dragged down to the deepest pits of hell.

Or perhaps humans' don't even have souls? What is the point of giving a soul to something that will eventually be consumed by the greater forces in the universe? But I digress, why must I think like this?

Am I really broken? Am I as scarred as he suggested?

"B…" his voice is tired, breaking into my thoughts. "What's wrong…I can't keep guessing. Why did you…do…that?" he grew quieter, drifting into silence and I could feel his awkwardness.

"D-do what?" I whispered, turning my head in the direction I imagined him to be.

"Why did you…hurt me?" he spoke again, and his words caused me to frown. I never hurt him. It was always…

"You were always the one to hurt me," I replied. "So don't bullshit me. Don't attempt to brainwash me into thinking it's me who is the twisted one. I don't like liars!" I turned my head away, forehead creasing upwards, biting my lip as tears threatening to spill down my face. I still…couldn't…see…and it was driving me to…_insanity_!

"I don't know what you're talking about, B…" I heard the silent groan in his voice. "Have you somehow gained amnesia? Are you confused?"

"I'm not confused." My reply is immediate, my tone sharp enough to slice the air around me. "I know exactly what is going on! The only thing I don't know…I don't know…why…I'm blind…" I whimper slightly, uncontrollably.

"…B? Are you _scared_?" The incredulous tone in his voice drove me into fury, silent fury. My fists shook, clenching, the pain suddenly unbearable, causing me to yell out.

"I'm hurt! I'm broken!" I screamed, crying. "Let me go home! Please! Just let me go home!" My hysterical sobbing reached ear-splitting level, and if the one who imprisoned me responded, I didn't hear him.

What seemed like hours later, I suddenly realised, with deafening certainty, that I was alone, so dreadfully, painfully alone. There was no one here to hold me together any more. So quite willing, I let myself go. I let my mind slip into the welcoming arms of complete and utter insanity.

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Writing chapters like this makes me vaguely uncomfortable, as if the characters are real and as if I'm hurting them. I don't want to hurt them, y'know? XD

Ah wellz, please, PLEASE review!

I love reviews as well as faves and alerts! Reviews make my day! So...yup! :D


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